Long Time, No See
Updated: Sep 14, 2021
Wow it's been a while since I last published a post here. I've been super busy on my end (to an extent). The last 7-8 months I made a couple of shifts within my career and really took the time to explore my professional wants and needs. I've also been spending a lot of time with family. Kaylee has grown up so much already that I can't wait to see the little girl she continues to blossom into. We've also been able to spend time with all sorts of friends and family which has kept our weekends busy.
What these last few months has come to, I think had a revelation in my life on where I see things going in terms of my goals in the near future. 2020 was not easy, and 2021 rolled right into it. I didn't take time for a breather and listen to my heart or my brain for that matter. It was kind of go go go! I thought I knew what I wanted and eventually figured out that I was wrong. Now, I want to pause and slow down. I want to prioritize myself and practice the art of just not giving a f***.
I can't believe I became a person who started to care about what others think of me and my progress. I used to be confident in my outlooks, choices, and actions but I have begun to really second guess myself and spiral into these darker thoughts. It started to light a different emotion within me and I've been really struggling with anger. I can be happy one moment, and then the next someone might say or do something and I can be quick to rage and change my attitude entirely. It's super toxic to say the least and I admit I shouldn't be taking this out on the people closest to me. I appreciate that people can bear it but they should never have to. It's unfair to them and it's completely not okay.
Also, I have been struggling to hold myself accountable to keeping up with new personal hobbies and routines. It's easy for me to fall into this endless cycle of laziness and honestly I'm getting tired of being lazy if that could be said. I want to break out this phase entirely. I think the first step is to obviously acknowledge what's been going on, and build out some action items aka goals to start working on. They can be small at first, however I'd like to go bigger and change myself as a whole.
So this is where the blog comes right back in. I'll be spending some time documenting my thoughts more often as I try to get back on track. This is where I got to truly double down on things that I bear in mind and bring them out in the open. Be vulnerable to the world wide web and carry on. Improve myself and live my life more fully. I'll be back soon!