• Ting Zheng

8 Promises to My Daughter

6 weeks. That's roughly the amount of time that I will become a mother to a newborn baby girl. Each week that passes by, I reflect and panic rushes through my head. I'm excited, of course, but I also begin to think about how I'm not ready. One thing that does put aside the anxiety is knowing my husband, Ken, is here next to me on this journey to create a family. He will be a great father, I just know it and it will be so natural for him whereas for myself I think I will struggle at first. I hold myself to high standards, and I need to understand how there's a lack of control going forward and it's okay.


This brings me to why I wanted to put together promises I hope to keep for Kaylee, it will a foundation for myself as I enter motherhood. These are my promises:


1. I promise to be patient and let you learn to be who you want to be. You are the maker of your own destiny. I'm only here to guide you through this adventure called life where I have to remember to sit in the backseat but provide advice wherever possible.


2. I promise to make as many sacrifices as necessary to help you succeed. I will always put you first. If money is strapped, or we're in a place that puts our family under some hardships - you will be at the center of it where I will make sure you still have similar or more opportunities than I did.


3. I promise to substantiate your feelings. I don't process my own feelings well, and empathy has always been hard for me, but I will actively work on this. I want you to be able to come to me with anything on your mind and know at the end of the day, I am your mother and I do not judge.


4. I promise to instill confidence in you. My parents did this with me, and I can tell you confidence goes a long way. I was very shy as a child, and it took a lot to open me up and have myself be comfortable in my own skin. You should never be afraid to stand up for yourself. Confidence is key in being who you are, and building relationships with others.


5. I promise to teach you (not just at the beginning, but throughout my lifetime with you). Teach you the values and morals that make a person kind. Teach you to open your imagination to creativity. Teach you skills to grow your knowledge. And most importantly, teach you to challenge yourself and never give up as cheesy as it sounds. You should always be striving to self-improve with a positive mindset.


6. I promise to discipline you fairly. There are always consequences to wrong actions, and it's my duty as a mother to make sure you understand what is considered wrong. We'll disagree I'm sure of it, however, please remember I only discipline to do what's best for you.


7. I promise to be there for you for all your big moments or the ones you care deeply about. Moments are fleeting, and I want to be a part of those memories. I will always make time for you and I want you to see me as your biggest cheerleader.

8. I promise to love you and show you how to love others. Ken and I say we love each other daily (sappy, I know!), but that kind of affirmation reminds you to appreciate who you have in your life and reinforce there's an invisible bond that lives strongly between humans. Love is what gives our lives purpose.


With these promises, I want to be the best mother I can be.


Kaylee, you're almost here. Your dad and I can't wait to meet you.




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