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BEAR IN MIND

The "Bear in Mind" blog project is meant to be my outlet to put thoughts of all aspects of my life into a digital form.

 

You'll find a wide array of content here as I write whatever is on my mind from my family, to different passion points, to how I go about my career in the world of digital advertising, and more!

 

All thoughts are my own. :)

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My father passed away this October and as cliche as it is, there's not one day I haven't thought about him. He was the absolute most intelligent man I've ever known. So many of my childhood memories are around seeing my father scribbling down thoughts and numbers on scraps of paper or him being so focused yet on another massive textbook. He was a man that ran on coffee and cigarettes, and you would see either one of those vices in his hands at any time. Although his passing didn't come as a surprise suddenly, it was still hard to truly realize the impact of his death. Parkinson's disease is a real bitch and it was so unfortunate to see how this illness took away his nervous system.


I've been percolating on a lot of random thoughts, mostly regrets. And I know I shouldn't be sitting on this type of negative thinking, but it just happens and there's not a way to control it. I do want to be able to identify why I think of these as regrets, and what I really wanted to say to my dad in his last years. Most of the time when talking to him, he would only nod yes or no. We haven't had a long, deep conversation since 2017. I've even gone through great lengths to find old correspondence through texts or emails, and haven't come up with anything.


None of this was his fault, we never got a chance to really develop a larger relationship. I think if my dad had lived normally another 10 more years we would have been able to connect on a deeper level as our topics of conversation would have reached a maturity that my dad could comprehend. So here's what I would have spoken to him about:


  1. Family. I've become a mother and I wanted to share the experience while also listening to all his ramblings of how he raised me - the highs and the lows as well as his family history.

  2. Relationships + Love. It's no surprise that it took my parents a while to accept my husband. It wasn't to their "expectations" but I would have wanted to discuss this further and understand even the inner workings of my parents relationship.

  3. Politics. As silly as that is, I'm curious on what my dad's political opinion. We never touched the subject.

  4. His work. What the heck does he teach? Never once did I pry into his research. It was always above my head. I regret being at UTD and not attending one of his classes to see him in action.

  5. Travels + Experiences. Gosh this is vague and so broad, but where's he's been and where he wants to go next. I want to know what stuck out to him and obviously share all the things we've been up to.

After writing this all out, this is the basic and common line of topics of all things when talking to another person and truth be told....we really didn't do this a lot and it's upsetting. Now all I can really do is make up for it with current relationships from my mom to friends to my family and that's what I'll do.


I will always be grateful for my dad and the time I had with him. He was loved and cared for tremendously, and I hope now he can truly rest. It wasn't easy these last few years and I'll forever miss him.




Life has been a bit chaotic lately and I need to remind myself to become more centered. It's a mixture of a bit of everything, where there's not one cause I can truly pinpoint to help alleviate these feelings. This blog was a place meant to put my thoughts into a place that's more concrete, and I need to dedicate a bit more time and effort here. I've been on a hiatus from investing in myself and although my productivity is high within my work output and as a mother, I don't quite necessarily see the same outside of that.


I recognize that I want to make the most of my life in a holistic sense. So, I'm bringing back my to-do lists where it lets me really take into consideration the possibilities of each day. It goes beyond the typical errands, and allows me to think through additional ways to impact or create value not only in my life but also in others.


For the rest of the year, I want to dedicate myself to this way. I no longer want to be in the passenger seat. It's time I get back to putting forth a real drive. All of this goes to say, you'll see me be more active on this blog from here on out and I'll be sure to be noting my journey.





It's my last week on mat leave and then I'm back at work, and Kaylee will be in daycare. I'm definitely nervous about the transition for both of us, but I'm also excited to start jumping back into a routine again even though it'll be a new one.


As a last hoorah, I've been trying to keep my last week busy (if weather permits!) So, I invited my mom out to explore a new nearby city that's between the both of us. We have always passed through Grapevine, but never really stop to see what's going on. One of my favorite things to do is actually discover new places through Google Maps app. I've become somewhat of an avid user and bookmark lots of places, parks, restaurants and categorize them like crazy. So, with Grapevine I simply started browsing around on the map and came up with an itinerary that ended up being a great day.


Here's how it went:


1. Kicked off the day by picking up breakfast at Eatzi's. They have a great spread of hot off the grill food. We picked up a customized omelet, a burrito, and a cup of oatmeal. They also have a great coffee menu where we got our caffeine needs.


2. Headed to the Grapevine Botanical Gardens at Heritage Park to have a picnic. My mom absolutely loves flowers and plants. She was so surprised to see this little beautiful oasis. We found a park bench we liked and settled down with all our food. It was right across from a small pond and lush plant vegetation. We simply caught up and took in the calmness of the scenery. Of course, we did have to walk through the entire park to take in every inch of it where my mom decided to take a photo of every flower we walked by.




3. Next up, I found a little farm that was right across the street from the Botanical Garden. It's called Nash Farm. This is one of Grapevine's historical landmarks and basically provides education to how this farm worked back in its prime. It consisted of the main farmhouse, with several other parts that you can walk through like the barn, places where they keep animals like chickens, turkeys, and sheep, plus fields for harvests. In my opinion, this would be another good place to visit with a friend and have a cup of coffee with a change in view. It's free to walk around the entire property.



4. Then, we headed out to Downtown Historic Grapevine. We parked near the Vintage Railroad which has a train that actually runs down the Cotton Belt, but we'll save that for another time. You can walk down this downtown street visiting dozens of boutiques and wineries. There's also a nice spot to pick up some gelato on a hot day. Interspersed in between these shops are more historic landmarks.





5. Finally, we ended our day with a nice refreshing glass of wine. I originally wanted to go to the Cross Timbers Winery, but unfortunately, it was closed at the time. So, on the fly, I found another winery that was in Coppell at a place called The Sound. Now, we didn't really know what we were getting into, but The Sound is a relatively new area that has about 5-6 restaurants right on the edge of a lake. It's not that pretty since it's just now developing, but it definitely will be in the near future. We got our glass of Riesling wine at the Landon Winery and sat on their outdoor patio. The Sound does seem to host live music concerts on their property, so it'll be on my list to come back to enjoy.


We started our day around 8:30 am and made it back home by 4. Although it didn't seem like a fully packed schedule, it did keep us busy. Plus, Kaylee who's now 3 months old enjoyed the entire trip so you could say this is baby approved!